Victim Blaming
by Katlover98
Summary: Dean wasn't the first one to rape Sam. Dean also wasn't the one to blame, neither was Cas..The ones who raped Sam before them definitely weren't in control of themselves either... Spn Kink Meme fill, TW: Rape and mention or rape


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 **Castiel breaks free from his bonds while under the effects of Rowena's curse, finds Sam, and overpowers and rapes him. Sam fights back at first, but then dissociates after he has flashbacks to the same thing happening at demon! Dean's hands when Dean broke free while Sam was curing him. When Dean comes in to rescue him, he stays in position and tells Dean he's ready for him, horrifying Dean.**

 **Afterward, Sam is mostly quiet and timid around Dean and Cas, but friendly. If they try to apologize, he turns it around and comforts them. It's not their fault. They weren't the first - there was Lucifer, of course, and Lucifer, and Lucifer. But before that, there was Ruby, and those rednecks in Hibbing who put him in a cage afterward, and Tyson, and maybe others before him. In his mind, it must be something in his blood, or maybe just that he's Lucifer's vessel, that calls out for others to fuck him.**

 **Sam's surprised to find out Dean didn't realize this already - he figured he instinctively knew. He's been calling him "bitch" for years now, after all.**

* * *

He tried to fight at first but then something happened. Sam remembered. He remembered his brother doing the same thing Cas was doing at the moment. Back when Dean had been a demon. So instead of fighting he went limp and let Castiel do whatever he wanted to him. Sam didn't fight when the angel, under Rowena's curse, ripped his clothes from his body and he definitely didn't fight when the angel penetrated him. It all felt surreal to Sam after he gave up. It was as if he was watching what was going on but it didn't feel as if it was being done to him. He felt he was watching a movie.

Soon, Castiel came in Sam and just as he finished Sam felt the weight on his body disappear. When Sam looked up he saw Dean. If Sam had been in his right mind he would've noticed Dean's expression of pure horror and anger. He wasn't, though, and he looked right into Dean's eyes, parted his bruised, bloody thighs and spoke, "I'm ready for you Dean."

Sam was confused as to why Dean vomited.

It had been a few weeks since the Incident, as it became known, and both Cas and Dean felt like they were walking on eggshells. Sam for his part didn't seem to care what had been done to him and tried to downplay it anytime Castiel or Dean tried to apologize.

"It's fine, Cas, it wasn't your fault," he would always say, quietly, not looking at either of them. It bothered Dean how timid Sam was around him and Cas. He was shy but he wasn't scared or angry. He never seemed to blame them. Actually, he was always friendly. Dean hated it.

Dean wanted his little brother to blame them, blame the world and scream out how unfair it was. He wanted to see Sam mad and accusing them, throwing it all back to their faces. He wanted to see Sam breaking shit and destroying the Bunker. Hell, he'd even take Sam rocking himself in the corner, too scared to even look at Cas and Dean in the eyes. Instead, he'd smile at them both and say they were blameless, his words not Dean's.

Dean felt frustration. He shouldn't, after all, _he_ wasn't the one that got raped. However, Sam's behavior scared him. They were all in the Bunker's library, books littering on and around the table with Sam the ones mostly reading them. Right now he was trying to get Cas' attention on a way to defeat the Darkness and though he tensed a little when Castiel looked at him, he didn't shy away and had an easygoing smile. Dean could tell Cas was uncomfortable and wanted to pull away but didn't.

"Damn it," Dean said out loud all of a sudden. He hadn't meant to but now there were two pairs of eyes looking at him. One worried, the other confused. Guess who was the worried one?

"Dean, are you okay," Sam asked, _concerned_ of all things.

"Am _I_ okay? I should be asking you if you're okay."

"I'm fine, Dean; healthy as a horse."

"You shouldn't be fine, you were raped, Sam! And not only were you raped once, but twice, by your two most trusted, close people. Cas raped you, I raped you and you're acting as if we haven't done _anything_ to you. You should be pissed, cussing us out, throwing shit at us, telling us you never want to see us again. You should be blubbering in a corner and avoiding us at all cost but no, you're here, sitting by us, researching on how to defeat the Darkness!"

Sam looked amused of all things, amused!

"You want me to be mad at you?"

"Yes! It's better than this—this Yoda Zen bullshit. Get angry, start crying!"

Sam sighed and closed the book he was reading, "What would be the point, Dean?"

"What?"

"I said what would be the point of being mad at you and Cas over something _you_ had no control of?"

"Dammit Sam, _you_ had no control over it! It wasn't your fault and you're acting like it is."

Silence reigned for a moment and suddenly it clicked, "Sam, you don't—I mean, you do _know_ it wasn't your fault, right?"

Sam was suddenly interested in looking down at his hands. He couldn't, Sam could _not_ be blaming himself for something he had zero control of.

"Sam, talk to me, what is going on through that gigantic head of yours."

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Sam got up and was about to leave when Castiel spoke, "It wasn't the first time."

Sam tensed.

"Sam, what is he talking about?"

Sam took a deep breath, "It was a long time ago, Dean, forget about it."

"A long—a long time ago, Sam what is going on," Dean didn't want to really connect the dots but he did. Sam hadn't been raped just by Dean and Cas, no he had been raped by others too…And Dean hadn't known about it. He hadn't been there to protect and comfort his baby brother.

"Sam, talk to me, please."

"Dean," he waited for his younger brother to say something else but instead he sprinted towards his room. Dean didn't even think, he reacted. He reached Sam's room just as Sam was about to close it and presumably stay there for God knows how long.

"What do you want from me, Dean?"

"Just to talk, Sam, promise. No judgments, no yelling, no getting angry, just talk. Okay?"

Sam shrugged and sat on the edge of his bed. Dean got the only chair in the room and sat in front of his little brother.

"Dean, it's not your fault, or Cas' really, that you raped me. It's mine, no let me finish," Dean closed his mouth; this was probably the only chance he had to know the truth.

"When I found out I had demon blood in, it had finally all made sense."

"What made sense, Sammy?"

"Why evil always found me, why I always fucked even when I didn't want it," Sam laughed bitterly and Dean felt his heart break into a million pieces, "then I found out I was Lucifer's vessel. Heh, then it really did click that the reason I was hurt, or manipulated, or raped, or molested, wasn't just the fault of the ones who had done it but a part of me, the darkest parts, forced out the evil in them even more and they got drawn to me."

"Sam, Sammy," Dean put his hand on top of Sam's knee and immediately took it off when Sam flinched, "None of it was your fault! It was theirs, Cas', _mine._ You're the victim here, Sammy; you had no choice, no say in the matter!"

"You know," Sam started after a few seconds of tense silence, "when I was first, y'know, raped, it had been right after I found out about the supernatural."

Dean felt his blood go cold; Sammy had been raped at nine? Where in the hell had he and his dad been?

"It was a month after I gave you the amulet and you and dad had to leave for two days on a ghost hunt," Dean tried to recall, so many salt and burns, so many motels, so many times they had left Sammy alone. But finally, he got to the memory. His dad had thought that since Sam knew about the supernatural now that he would understand why John had needed Dean as backup. Dean hadn't wanted to leave his baby brother by himself, unprotected but he was so young and always followed orders so he had gone leaving Sam instructions of putting salt around the door and windows and to not open to anyone. John had left Sam a shotgun, instructions to look after himself and when to pick up the phone. He had given Sam a smile and then ruffled his hair; Dean had given Sam a candy bar and a promise that they'd be home soon.

"After you guys left I did everything you said. I locked the doors, I put on the salt lines and I stayed in the room the whole time. I didn't speak to anyone, I didn't open the door if it was knocked on and I definitely didn't leave."

"Anyway, you guys were gone for an extra day and I guess the manager noticed it was just you and dad that left because he opened the door with his own key and entered. I tried to act brave and even got the shotgun but I was too afraid to shot. Before I knew it he was on top of me and," Sam gulped, "he just…did it, you know?"

Dean had tears coming down his eyes, "Sammy, why didn't you tell us?"

Sam scoffed, "What would've been the point, Dean? It happened, you and dad couldn't have stopped it and there was no point to making you guys feel bad just because you had to help people."

"We could've killed the bastard, that's what!"

"Dean, it happened, there's no point in getting angry. Besides, my evil blood probably called to him and made him rape me."

"Sam, how can you say that? Nothing, not even the demon blood in you, made that asshole rape you; that was all on him."

"If it isn't my blood then why the hell does it keep happening then?"

"Sam what happened with Castiel and me, it wasn't your fault either," Sam was shaking his head and Dean narrowed his eyes, "unless…Sam has it happened _before_ me and Cas and after…"

Sam shrugged, "Like I said, if it keeps happening there must be something wrong with me," Dean was about to ask who when Sam answered, "Another creepy motel manager. You were laid up after a bad werewolf hunt, dad had left to finish it off. He hadn't left enough money and he made me blow him. At least he didn't bother us for a few days and before he could dad had shown up.

"Brady, Ruby, Lucifer, those rednecks down in Hibbing…God…"Sam looked up and bit his lip, "Lucifer," he whispered, "he was the worse. I always with him so he could rape whenever however he wanted to. He could transform into anyone…"

"Ruby, I didn't want to at first but she fed me her blood and I was basically asking for it," tears were flowing down Sam's eyes, "my fault, it has always been my fault."

He looked up at Dean and gave a forced smile, "But it's over now, it's in the past," he said with fake cheer. He tried to get up but Dean didn't let him. Instead, he held his brother in his arms.

"Sh, Sammy, it was never your fault. It never was, it never will be."

Dean felt wetness on his shirt but Sam made no sound. Dean didn't say anything, letting Sam continue crying. He deserved it. Dean himself had tear tracks on his face thinking about all the time he had failed Sam; all times he hadn't been there. Dean tightened his hold on Sam, he wasn't going to leave him this time.

Both brothers held to each other, taking comfort in their sibling presence.

 **All mistakes are my own. Thanks for reading**


End file.
